My Abortion Story
Jun. 26th, 2022 08:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
coffeedaivIt is not mine. Not really.
I was married, we were in college. I was working at a 7-11 during the summer. And on after a particularly awful night of work, she conceived.
Weeks passed, we figured it out. We talked, we decided that a child would not be a good idea. We terminated the pregnancy. All the decisions were shared.
And it could have been different. It could have been that we disagreed. It could have been I was too scared, or too eager. That I wanted a child with her, or that she wanted it with me (or wanted one at all, in that time and circumstance). I would like to think, if we had disagreed, that I would have done the right thing, and continue to support her decision regardless. I would like to think I would have been a good person, and understood then and there, that my stake in this matter, my opinion, my feelings do not carry enough weight. I want to say "carry no weight, mean nothing" but that is not true. My feelings mean Something, they just don't mean enough; not in this matter. I would like to think, if we had disagreed, that I would have understood that my feelings and opinions and decisions are Not Her Problem.
Regardless of that, it was established as the rule of law. And now it is not. And that terrifies and enrages me. On my behalf, on behalf of my daughters (who have all had the freedom to make their own reproductive choices, with my full and unwaverring and largely irrelevant support), on behalf of my extended family, my friends, on behalf of every single person in this country.
So. Suddenly my support means a little more. I have worked to avoid this, and it didn't work. So, I work to reverse it. This fight was never over. This fight will never be over. It must be won and won again.
Sucks rocks, don't it?
I was married, we were in college. I was working at a 7-11 during the summer. And on after a particularly awful night of work, she conceived.
Weeks passed, we figured it out. We talked, we decided that a child would not be a good idea. We terminated the pregnancy. All the decisions were shared.
And it could have been different. It could have been that we disagreed. It could have been I was too scared, or too eager. That I wanted a child with her, or that she wanted it with me (or wanted one at all, in that time and circumstance). I would like to think, if we had disagreed, that I would have done the right thing, and continue to support her decision regardless. I would like to think I would have been a good person, and understood then and there, that my stake in this matter, my opinion, my feelings do not carry enough weight. I want to say "carry no weight, mean nothing" but that is not true. My feelings mean Something, they just don't mean enough; not in this matter. I would like to think, if we had disagreed, that I would have understood that my feelings and opinions and decisions are Not Her Problem.
Regardless of that, it was established as the rule of law. And now it is not. And that terrifies and enrages me. On my behalf, on behalf of my daughters (who have all had the freedom to make their own reproductive choices, with my full and unwaverring and largely irrelevant support), on behalf of my extended family, my friends, on behalf of every single person in this country.
So. Suddenly my support means a little more. I have worked to avoid this, and it didn't work. So, I work to reverse it. This fight was never over. This fight will never be over. It must be won and won again.
Sucks rocks, don't it?
